At the recent Battle of Antietam Reenactment in Maryland, Captain Harmon was seen showing the boys how to do the "Hokey Pokey." When asked why he was sashaying around the camp he replied that he had "just put on clean underwear and was feeling morning fresh." Several bystanders said that when Capt. Harmon heard the tune struck up by the famous 69th San Francisco Boys Choir he couldn't control himself. Efforts to curtail his actions were unsuccessful and Capt. Harmon was seen doing the "Hokey Pokey" right through the battle. Union troops, upon seeing his antics, dropped to the ground in great numbers from hysterical laughter, which allowed the Confederates to overrun their position and achieve a great victory. Captain Harmon was later awarded the prestigious "Get Jiggy With It" medal. Congratulations, Capt. Pappy "Flashdance" Harmon!

Editors Note: Amid wild accusations of inaccuracies and actual threats of bodily harm, we admit that we may have gilded the lily somewhat in the above account. So, with journalistic integrity at stake, we have painstakingly gone back over our sources and the following is what we believe to be the most accurate and unashamedly TRUE account of the story behind the photo. (Note, the photo in question was supplied to us by Pappy's son, Gene.)

At the recent Battle of Antietam Reenactment in Maryland, Captain Harmon was seen auditioning for the new Vargas Girl pin-up calendar. When asked why he was doing this, Capt. Harmon replied, "Anything to get my picture taken." As can be clearly seen in the photograph, Capt. Harmon is modeling the latest in Confederate lingerie. Although vastly unappealing to the modern 21st century, it was wildly exciting to the 19th century soldier, his livestock, and small Dutchmen. Sources have told us that Capt. Harmon will be appearing as the centerfold in an upcoming issue of Blue and Gray Magazine and his likeness is currently being painted on B-29 bombers everywhere. When asked for a response, supermodel Harmon replied, "I'm extremely excited about my new career change and I just hope that I don't bomb - no pun intended." Ouch! Here's to you, Capt. Pappy "Doolittle" Harmon!

Editors Note: After even more threats of bodily harm and several pending lawsuits, we have decided to retract our previous retraction. We also decided to give it one more try. Here then - again - is the OFFICIAL, definitive account of what REALLY happened.

At the recent Battle of Antietam Reenactment in Maryland, Captain Harmon was seen posing for the new Stonewall Jackson statue at the Manassas National Battlefield Park. When asked why he was doing this, Capt. Harmon replied, "I always felt that the original statue of Jackson looked too much like Superman, so I wanted to show a more softer, feminine side to him. You won't see any rippling muscles on my body!" To prepare for the pose, Capt. Harmon spent weeks eating lemons, reading the Bible, and standing with one hand in the air. He even strapped a saddle to his favorite Labrador retriever and renamed him "Little Sorrell." When asked for a final comment, Capt. Harmon replied, "I even waxed my legs for this!" Ooh, too much information, Capt. Harmon. Sources have told us that Capt. Harmon's next project will be posing for the new Frances the Talking Mule statue. Good luck, Capt. Pappy "Old Jack" Harmon!

Miss Andersonville 2003

At the recent living history at Andersonville National Historic Site, Capt. Pappy Harmon was seen modeling the latest in Federal footwear. When asked why he was doing this, international foot model Harmon replied, "I've always had pretty feet! Okay, seriously, I have a perfect size six foot, so most of what I model is women's shoes. At the living histories, I'll usually put on a pair of black highheel pumps after the spectators have all left at the end of the day. They're a lot harder to dance around the fire in, but all the guys in the unit love it when I do that!" When asked for a final comment, Capt. Harmon replied, "I don't mind wearing the pumps, but the hoopskirt really gets in the way." Well, all we can say is that it definitely gives a whole new meaning to the term "galvanizing." Here's to you, Capt. Pappy "Rupall" Harmon!